I hope if you subscribe to this blog, you will forgive me for indulging in using it as a bit of a personal journal as I get through what is a very painful time for me. If you read through all this, I thank you for wanting to share in my celebration of this special life and if you don't, that's fine too! I know all of this may seem really boring to a lot of people and those of you that haven't had the experience of sharing your life with a beloved pet may not understand the level of grief that can be experienced by such a loss. The suddenness that this happened has in many ways made it all the more difficult and I've struggled a lot this week with feelings of guilt and remorse. Gradually by talking with a lot of people, including the vet that worked on him, I'm starting to get past that and better accept what happened and the fact that I could not have changed it and that there was much to be grateful for, not the least of which is that this at least happened while I was home and able to at least help him to be relatively comfortable in his last hour and be there in his final moments.